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A Lindsay Campbell Pop-Ed: The Breakdown of 2013 Breakups

Celebrity breakups are constantly dominating the pop culture headlines. Guys are blamed for cheating with the nanny and women are blamed for spending too much time on set. It’s usually the same story but with different names and faces. This year, there were a few that really rocked the house and shook us up. So, without further ado, here are some of the most noteworthy breakups of 2013 …

Jonas Brothers 
In October of 2013, the Jonas Brothers announced that they were going to break up. After years of serenading tweens and writing juvenile songs about girls, they finally called it quits. Joe Jonas then went on to “write” an article for New York Magazine blaming Disney for controlling their creative direction, ultimately forcing them in separate directions. That’s not going to be awkward at Christmas or anything …

Kris Kardashian and Bruce Jenner 
Let’s be real, we all saw this coming. If you’re an avid viewer of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, you may have seen the episode where Kris doesn’t allow Bruce’s picture to be hung in the hall of portraits. I don’t know what was more bizarre — the fact that they actually have a “hall of portraits” or the fact that one family member wasn’t allowed to be in it. How many of you feel you’ve been personally victimized by Regina George Kris Jenner? (Cue Bruce raising his hand.)

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom 
Yes, that’s correct. There were not one but TWO Kardashian breakups this year. The news of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom breaking up only just hit newsstands, but to be honest, America was waiting for this one to happen. After he went MIA in the fall it was pretty clear a trip to the court was next. Let’s just hope he shows up for that.

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom 
This breakup actually broke my heart. They’re a pretty low-key couple even though they’re both extremely famous on their own and have the most precious little nugget ever, Flynn. I’m guessing most of their fights went something like, “No, I’m more beautiful!”

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth 
Guys, let’s be real. This was just a matter of time. He’s way too good for her and far too smart to get caught up in her shenanigans. Liam has the chance at a solid acting career ahead of him and Miley's “music” career just might be on the downward spiral. The picture I’ve included of the two above finds Miley during her pre-crazy days. Thank me later.

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones 
After 13 years of marriage, these two announced they were calling it quits. It wasn’t the most surprising breakup of the year as they’ve gone through a lot of ups and downs as a couple. I can’t imagine going through all of that with media watching intensely would be easy for anyone. Not to mention, they kissed like this in public ... and it was disgusting.

Idina Menzel and Taye Diggs 
I’m not yet ready to talk about this yet. But if by chance you’re reading this Taye, call me. 607-426-6149. XOXO

Amy Poehler and Will Arnett 
Oh this didn’t happen this year? Sorry, it’s still an open wound in my books. #TeamAmyAlways

Top 3 Breakup Predictions for 2014
(Is this being too harsh? Oh well …)

  • Anyone that appeared on the show Teen Mom
  • Zayn Malik and Perrie Edwards (they’re not married yet, but I still know this won’t last)
  • Seth Rogen and Lauren Miller (I really hope this doesn’t happen, but he’s a manchild and was dumb enough NOT to sign a prenup)
A Lindsay Campbell Pop-Ed: The Breakdown of 2013 Breakups Reviewed by Lindsay Campbell on 12/20/2013 Rating: 5

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