The 'Just Shoot Me!' Showrunners' Secret Plan for 'Community' Leaks!
Saturday, May 19, 2012
I don't think we were supposed to see this, but the top-secret plan for next season of Community has leaked. The new showrunners, who got most of their experience running Just Shoot Me!, have some big changes in store for the Greendale Seven. Laugh tracks, new family members, catchphrases, weddings — everything that makes a sitcom a ratings winner is coming to Community.
Check out the leaked, top-secret plans after the jump.
If you haven't caught on by now, this isn't real. Not yet, at least.
From the new showrunners:
To: Robert Greenblatt, NBC chairman
From: David Guarascio and Moses Port, Community's new executive producers
Here's what we're thinking for next season of Community. Dan Harmon's vision for the show is going to get tweaked a bit. We know how to get ratings.
Community's fourth season will see the addition of a laugh track to the show. We think a laugh track will make the show more accessible to casual viewers. Without a laugh track, how will people know when to laugh? We're going to have to cut half the jokes out of the show to create laugh track gaps (SEE: The Big Bang Theory), but no one actually got all those pop culture references Dan Harmon used to make, right?
We're going to update the characters' apartments too. Troy, Abed and Annie living together is funny, but they share a tiny apartment, with one character living in a blanket fort in the living room? Their apartment is going to get upgraded to a big, high-rise apartment with a balcony and a view. Who cares if they can't realistically afford an apartment like this.
EPISODE 401: Jeff Winger finally meets his dad, William Winger. We think Jim Belushi would be perfect for this part. He's not doing anything, right? We'll also introduce Community fans to William Winger's younger, super hot wife. She can be played by just about any thin, attractive blonde in Hollywood. Troy and Abed rap about something.
EPISODE 402: The Dean relaunches Greendale's student newspaper as a magazine. Annie and Britta fight over who gets to run it, with Annie wanting it to be a fashion magazine and Britta thinking it should focus on feminist issues or something like that. Pierce and Shirley have a to come together to resolve some big issue with Shirley's Sandwiches. We'll let Chevy Chase write his own lines. That guy really knows comedy and understands Community. Troy and Abed sing a song.
EPISODE 403: Jeff loses his apartment and has to move in with his dad and step-mom. (See, we do acknowledge characters not being able to afford pricey apartments when it fits the needs of the plot.) Jeff discovers that he has a half-brother, played by David Spade. (Don't worry, we have Spade on life-time retainer. He'll appear in anything we ask him to.) Hilarious antics will follow, as Jeff and his half-brother re-enact the sibling squabbles they missed out on growing up. Also, it turns out Leonard is Jeff's grandfather. Troy and Abed imagine something.
EPISODE 404: The Greendale study group is shocked to learn that the Dean is dating Rebecca Romijn. See, it's funny because the Dean shouldn't be able to land a woman as hot as Rebecca Romijn. Don't worry. The laugh track will let you know that it's funny. Jeff and Annie start dating. Seriously, this show has to get at least one couple together. Troy and Abed talk about Inspector Spaceman or whatever his name is.
EPISODE 405: Shirley's baby, Ben, is suddenly 18 years old and a student at Greendale Community College. He's going to be awesome. We're thinking Nick Cannon will play the grown-up Ben. We'll give him a catch phrase. "BEN there, BEN that" or something. Laugh track gold, every time. Meanwhile, Annie and Britta have to hire a new photographer for the Greendale magazine. Annie will want to hire the photog who takes pretty pictures, while Britta will want to hire the photog who shot homeless people or something. Troy and Abed high five.
EPISODE 406: Greendale gets a new professor, to be played by Catherine Tate. We think her Nellie Bertram character on The Office is one of the funniest things to happen on TV in a long time. Some kind of America-England culture divide will cause tension for the study group. Jeff will give an inspirational speech. Troy and Abed play in the Imagination Room.
EPISODE 407: We don't really understand the Chang character. Is he crazy or just misunderstood? Feeling left out of the study group, Chang will try to overdose on painkillers. He'll be OK, but the Greendale Seven will learn a very special lesson about including people who are different than you in this episode. Troy and Abed wear disguises.
EPISODE 408: Annie, Pierce and Shirley form a band to compete at Greendale's Battle of the Bands, with Jeff as their manager. When Jeff proves too demanding, they fire him. Without Jeff to guide them, Annie, Pierce and Shirley become too focused on the look of their band and don't practice. The Dean is still dating Rebecca Romijn. Troy and Abed do a fake morning show.
EPISODE 409: Jeff plans to propose to Annie, and gives Pierce the ring to hold on to. Of course, Pierce is old so he forgets where he hid the ring. He teams up with Chang to retrace his steps until they find the ring, just in time for Jeff to propose to Annie. We'll insert some prerecorded "OOOOHHHH ..." here to go along with the laugh track. The audience will know this is a touching moment. Troy and Abed make a fort.
EPISODE 410: Jeff and his family (Belushi, hot step-mom and David Spade) have dinner with Annie's family for the first time. These two families couldn't NOT get along more. We're thinking Fred Willard and Cheri Oteri for Annie's father and mother. David Cross will play Annie's brother who seems simple and slow, but he'll secretly reveal to Jeff that he's been pretending for all these years. Viewers will love all the jokes that come from Jeff trying to reveal to Annie and her family that her brother has been pretending. If David Cross isn't available, we'll get Chris Elliott. Troy and Abed do something that adults their age shouldn't do.
EPISODE 411: Rebecca Romijn breaks up with the Dean. The Greendale study group has to remind the Dean why he's such a great guy. Flashbacks to funny moments with the Dean. (We haven't watched most of Community, so we'll have to go back later and figure out which scenes to use.) In the end, the Dean realizes how much he means to everyone. Jeff asks him to be the best man at his wedding. Troy and Abed say "cool."
EPISODE 412: The big wedding episode. On the morning of his wedding, Jeff decides he needs to go do one last wild thing before settling down. A bungee-jumping trip goes horribly wrong, and Jeff ends up in a boat full of tomatoes. He gets arrested for ruining the tomatoes. Luckily, Annie is a take-charge woman and she rushes to Jeff's rescue and bails him out of jail. They get married in a makeshift wedding at the jail, with Pierce performing the ceremony. No other show has ever had one of their character's be able to perform weddings due to some crazy online certification, right? Troy and Abed watch Punchkicker or some movie like that. We don't really get those two characters.
EPISODE 413: Two words: Disneyland episode.
Trust us on all of this.
— The guys who brought you Just Shoot Me!